May
7
You People and Your Smokin’
Filed Under bitching | Comments Off
We have this chick who lives next door to us and she’s as nice as can be. Trouble is, she has that slack-jawed look that tells you she’s as dumb as a box of hair. One of her more annoying habits is chain smoking in the back yard of her non-smoking rental while our tiny row-house next door fills with her disgusting exhale. Every time she sparks, the stench fills every room of our house. We have to constantly run around closing windows to keep the place from smelling like ass. It’s REALLY annoying.
Smokers can’t stand to hear this kind of talk because they think we’re putting their rights in a full nelson. Let me fill you in on something, dude, just about every time a non-smoker gets on your case, it’s because you’re polluting their air. We don’t care if you smoke till your small, neandertal head caves in. Just don’t make us breathe it. It’s a simple concept. Jeezus.
In Philadelphia we have fairly new anti-smoking legislation that says you can’t smoke in bars and restaurants. So now we have dozens of people smoking at the entrance to the place instead of smoking inside. Trouble with that is many of the eateries in my neighborhood have outdoor table seating and open-air dining rooms. You can’t sit outside without being HAMMERED by smoke, so you go inside where the entire restaurant fills with the smoke that pours in the windows. Nice.
In the winter it’s really pathetic as the smokers huddle on the sidewalk in freezing temperatures, usually with no coat on, just to get that fix. That’s gotta be embarrassing. And if you really have to smoke something, wouldn’t you rather it have some benefit? People smoke pot on the streets all the time. I smell it every day as I walk through the city. Phillip Morris should mix in a little kush and watch their stock take off.
I truly don’t understand the appeal of the cigarette. I really don’t. I tried smoking with a pal of mine when I was like 15 years old and it was such a disgusting experience that I never wanted to do it again. I’ve had friends, colleagues and family members who smoke and I just don’t get how they ever smoked enough to get addicted in the first place. Is it peer pressure, a character flaw, a desire to look ‘hip’? It sure as hell ain’t the smell and taste.