Oct
14
NBC Continues To Suck
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Proving that they’re no slouch when it comes to crappy pictures and sound, the NBC network continued its long track record of shitty productions today during the telecast of the Saints/Seahawks game. Fans everywhere were treated to hideous motion blur, snowy images during camera pans and a lengthy delay for an NBC equipment malfunction.
“We’re really hitting our stride as an ass-log of a network,” said Dick Ebersol, Chairman of NBC Universal Sports. “No other broadcaster offers our unique combination of overcompressed, blocky high definition images, lameass celebrity shilling and overall wretched production value.”
Ebersol’s statements were backed up Sunday night when the floating overhead camera that NBC uses to supplement its already horrifically bad NFL coverage malfunctioned in the first quarter, delaying the game for several minutes and angering football fans already poised to turn the channel.
“There was no game action while the camera was being serviced so the compression artifacts were fairly low,” said Seahawks fan Mike Rosenfart, “but as soon as the game resumed and players were actually moving around on the field, that horsecrap HD picture came right back.”
“It’s hard work to produce something that no one has a good word to say about…ever,” said Ebersol. “It has taken our dopey executives years to shape our product into the revolting, turd shaped log that it has become. That doesn’t just happen overnight.”